The Waffler

spiderman vs. the cat people

2008-10-03T16:44:00.001-07:00

fresh from the patch

2008-10-03T16:43:00.001-07:00

Bachelor Townhome - Playboy 1962

2008-09-05T15:00:00.001-07:00

THIS PICTURE CONTAINS TOO MUCH AWESOME FOR BLOGGER TO CONTAIN!

The 1st Annual Oakland Regional Grilled Cheese Invitational!

2008-09-05T13:10:00.000-07:00

HERE

hey look I'm blogging again! and i'm posting really outdated stuff!

BAM

2008-05-07T10:24:00.001-07:00

Oops, Our Bad!

2008-04-24T11:41:00.000-07:00

CORRECTION: This submission misstates that one Dalai Lama admitted to having sex with hundreds of men and women while knowing that he had AIDS. Additionally, the submission misstates that many monks participated in the dismemberment of female bodies. In fact, there is no factual evidence to substantiate either of these claims. Spectator regrets the error.

Best Correction Ever

friendo

2008-04-23T18:00:00.000-07:00

reality dysfunction

2008-04-22T08:56:00.000-07:00

Describe Marsellus Wallace to me, pray.

2008-04-21T10:14:00.000-07:00

pulpbard

Julius: Your pardon; did I break thy concentration?
Continue! Ah, but now thy tongue is still.
Allow me then to offer a response.
Describe Marsellus Wallace to me, pray.
Brett: What?
Julius: What country dost thou hail from?
Brett: What?
Julius: Thou sayest thou dost hail from distant What!
I know but naught of thy strange country What.
What language speak they in the land of What?
Brett: What?
Julius: English, base knave, dost thou speak it?
Brett: Aye!
Julius: Then hearken to my words and answer them!
Describe to me Marsellus Wallace!
Brett: What?
(JULIUS presses his knife to BRETT's throat)
Julius: Speak 'What' again! Thou cur, cry 'What' again!
I dare thee utter 'What' again but once!
I dare thee twice and spit upon thy name!
Now, paint for me a portraiture in words,
If thou hast any in thy head but 'What',
Of Marsellus Wallace!
Brett: He is dark.
Julius: Aye, and what more?
Brett: His head is shaven bald.
Julius: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
Brett: What?
(JULIUS strikes with his blade and BRETT cries out)
Julius: Hath he the semblance of a harlot?
Brett: Nay!
Julius: Then why didst thou attempt to bed him thus?
Brett: I did not!
Julius: Aye, thou didst! O, aye, thou didst!
Thou sought to rape him like a chattel whore!
And sooth, Lord Wallace is displeased to bed
With aught but Lady Wallace, whom he wed.

Me have problem

2008-04-17T14:17:00.000-07:00

COOKIE MONSTER
SEARCHES DEEP WITHIN
HIMSELF AND ASKS: IS ME
REALLY MONSTER?

Me know. Me have problem.

Me love cookies. Me tend to get out of control when me see cookies. Me know it not natural to react so strongly to cookies, but me have weakness. Me know me do wrong. Me know it isn't normal. Me see disapproving looks. Me see stares. Me hurt inside.

When me get back to apartment, after cookie binge, me can't stand looking in mirror—fur matted with chocolate-chip smears and infested with crumbs. Me try but me never able to wash all of them out. Me don't think me is monster. Me just furry blue person who love cookies too much. Me no ask for it. Me just born that way.

Me was thinking and me just don't get it. Why is me a monster? No one else called monster on Sesame Street. Well, no one who isn't really monster. Two-Headed Monster have two heads, so he real monster. Herry Monster strong and look angry, so he probably real monster, too. But is me really monster?

Me thinks me have serious problem. Me thinks me addicted. But since when it acceptable to call addict monster? It affliction. It disease. It burden. But does it make me monster?

How can they be so callous? Me know there something wrong with me, but who in Sesame Street doesn't suffer from mental disease or psychological disorder? They don't call the vampire with math fetish monster, and me pretty sure he undead and drinks blood. No one calls Grover monster, despite frequent delusional episodes and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. And the obnoxious red Grover—oh, what his name?—Elmo! Yes, Elmo live all day in imaginary world and no one call him monster. No, they think he cute. And Big Bird! Don't get me started on Big Bird! He unnaturally gigantic talking canary! How is that not monster? Snuffleupagus not supposed to exist—woolly mammoths extinct. His very existence monstrous. Me least like monster. Me maybe have unhealthy obsession, but me no monster.

No. Me wrong. Me too hard on self. Me no have unhealthy obsession. Me love cookies, but it no hurt anyone. Me just enthusiast. Everyone has something they like most, something they get excited about. Why not me? Me perfectly normal. Me like cookies. So what? Cookies delicious. Cookies do not make one monster. Everyone loves cookies.

Me no monster. Me OK guy. Me OK guy who eat cookies.

Who me kidding? Me know me never actually eat cookies. Me only crumble cookies in mouth, but me no swallow. Me can't swallow. Me no have no esophagus. Me no have no trachea. Me only have black fabric throat. Me not supposed to be able to even talk.

Me no eat cookies.

Me destroy cookies.

Me crush cookies.

Me mutilate cookies.

Me make it so no one get cookies.

Everyone right. Me really is cookie monster.

BOMBIN IRAQ

2008-04-15T15:10:00.000-07:00

unstill life

2008-04-10T16:12:00.001-07:00

science fiction vs literature

2008-04-02T17:56:00.001-07:00

The Watchnuts

2008-04-02T10:04:00.001-07:00

for mah comics nerds

works in more places

2008-02-28T12:40:00.001-08:00

at 14th and Valencia right now.

obama in the market

2008-02-20T09:43:00.000-08:00

Barack

2008-02-12T15:50:00.001-08:00

Clip 'N Save!

2008-02-12T10:14:00.000-08:00

Voted Yay on Dodd/Feingold amendment (or in Clinton's case, weaseled out and didn't vote at all...)

Iraq lies per month

2008-01-24T17:27:00.001-08:00

As reported by the Center for Public Integrity

rambo stats

2008-01-24T17:26:00.001-08:00

help me get this t-shirt!!!

2007-12-29T16:40:00.000-08:00

ZOMG I want this shirt from threadless but it's out of print! if you love me and want me to continue to have the will to live and update this, your favoritest blog, plz go vote to have it reprinted:

http://www.threadless.com/product/751/The_Madness_of_Mission_6

There's no place like home! There's no place like home! There's no place like home!

2007-12-14T11:19:00.001-08:00

really? a movie?

2007-12-14T09:43:00.001-08:00

At least Spike Jonze is directing.

bus

2007-12-12T11:30:00.000-08:00

perceptions

2007-12-05T09:27:00.000-08:00

an actual serious one... people say this is depressing, but I think it's kind of a sweet story

origins

2007-12-04T12:41:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-04T09:57:00.000-08:00

Guest Copy

2007-11-29T17:53:00.001-08:00

Tough Love

2007-11-29T17:49:00.000-08:00

PEP

2007-11-29T17:47:00.000-08:00

puppack

2007-11-20T22:20:00.001-08:00

jesus and mo and women

2007-11-20T12:16:00.001-08:00

Star Wars on Earth

2007-10-25T14:37:00.000-07:00

pinky and the brain

2007-10-16T17:11:00.001-07:00

goldener

2007-10-15T10:42:00.001-07:00

ST:TNG

2007-10-12T17:44:00.001-07:00

VOTE FOR PEDRO kthxbye

2007-10-12T17:19:00.000-07:00

subtitles

2007-10-12T10:04:00.000-07:00

ani-gif, ya gots to click it

fast food fighter

2007-10-12T09:58:00.001-07:00

Money it's gotta be the shoes!

2007-10-02T13:26:00.001-07:00

Golden

2007-09-27T11:04:00.001-07:00

New Hifana!

2007-09-26T15:33:00.001-07:00

Steady Pimpin

2007-09-26T15:31:00.000-07:00

fudge

2007-09-26T15:30:00.000-07:00

Legend

2007-09-18T13:29:00.000-07:00

Tony Snow - 20 Minutes Into The Future

2007-09-14T11:02:00.000-07:00

Ghost Ride It!

2007-09-13T14:26:00.000-07:00

with surprise M. Night Shyamalan plot twist!

infiltrator

2007-09-06T15:24:00.000-07:00

B-Boys in New York Poppin' to CAN

2007-09-05T09:16:00.000-07:00

Bob Barker vs. Super Grover

2007-08-22T13:27:00.001-07:00

Chimp A-Pan Returns with Five Bulldogs

2007-08-17T10:55:00.000-07:00

James Brown gives you dancing lessons

2007-08-15T11:07:00.001-07:00

'94 Dick Cheney explains why invading Iraq is a terrible idea

2007-08-10T16:42:00.001-07:00

Star Trek Deaths by Shirt Color

2007-08-10T14:16:00.000-07:00

from
here

I like this chart - eliminating the need for a legend is critical to allowing the information to flow. The data is the same color or object as the information we are trying to convey. Because there is no suitable color for Captain Kirk's affairs, we substituted a very flattering picture. Fights are represented by tiny phasers, which are not the best representation because of the size, but can easily be determined by the process of elimination. This chart allows conclusions and observations that simple charts, numbers, and explanations may never bring to the surface. It allows for easy comparison, both to other shirt colors, and in relation to other episodes. It also looks as though Kirk was a very busy man.

lawnmower

2007-08-09T12:33:00.001-07:00

Boy Wonder I Love You

2007-08-09T11:43:00.000-07:00

Burt Ward reads a fan letter, as accompanied by Frank Zappa/Mothers of Invention.

Dear Gavin Newsom

2007-08-07T11:12:00.001-07:00

Destro featuring The Baroness - "Get Money"

2007-08-07T10:11:00.001-07:00

Walk it Out

2007-08-02T16:20:00.001-07:00

indie

2007-08-01T09:16:00.001-07:00

cooking up some beats

2007-07-26T13:08:00.001-07:00

NO REGRETS

2007-07-26T12:56:00.001-07:00

APPOLZ

2007-07-25T12:09:00.000-07:00

Sarah Silverman helps save the planet

2007-07-24T16:08:00.000-07:00

Matt Damon too

fuck, I think I want to marry her.

9 years in the life of a drummer. starting at age 2.

2007-07-23T16:26:00.000-07:00

Max Blumenthal vs. College Republicans

2007-07-23T09:21:00.001-07:00

99 problems

2007-07-18T09:18:00.000-07:00

Crazy for Cult

2007-07-17T08:59:00.000-07:00

Spinal Tap plus Every Bass Player in the Known Universe

2007-07-10T09:30:00.000-07:00

Water Cube

2007-07-09T11:16:00.000-07:00

A solid block of water appears to have rained down on Beijing's Olympic Green. While most architecture buffs have been focused on Herzog & de Meuron's National Stadium -- dubbed the Bird's Nest for its curved shape and overlapping structural supports -- its neighbor, the National Aquatics Center, just might steal the show come opening day. Designed by Australia's PTW Architects, engineering firm Arup, and China State Construction Design International, the so-called Water Cube has a structural system unlike any other building. No wonder -- it's based on an age-old physics problem related to bubbles.

link

good ad

2007-07-09T11:02:00.001-07:00

just watch it embedded, don't follow the link cuz the title spoils it...

catbank

2007-07-09T10:04:00.000-07:00

Balls

2007-07-06T15:11:00.000-07:00

OK, there's whaling from giant ships with explosive harpoons, and then there's this:

more

What I learned today about iTunes...

2007-07-05T16:45:00.000-07:00

when I listen to iTunes I tend to just shuffle my whole library rather than play specific albums or playlists. but then, every once in a while I hear a song and realize I'm in the mood to hear the rest of that particular album. usually at that point I resort to typing in the name and finding it in the library and all, but I found out a spiffy trick today.

when a song is playing, besides highlighting the track in the list, iTunes also puts a little gray arrow next to it. if you click that arrow, it takes you to iTunes to buy that track or more like it. but if you alt/option-click on that arrow, then iTunes will select the rest of that album to play.

Marco Polo feat. Masta Ace - Nostalgia

2007-07-05T10:12:00.000-07:00

Kanye vs. Daft Punk vs. Akira

2007-07-03T10:27:00.000-07:00

mp3

objectivist

2007-07-02T09:53:00.000-07:00

Surprise!

2007-06-30T11:04:00.001-07:00

Bullet Tooth

2007-06-27T10:14:00.001-07:00

Stockholm Subway

2007-06-27T10:11:00.000-07:00

More...

MIND CONTROL MADE EASY !!! VERY EASY !!! -> HOW TO BECOME A CULT LEADER

2007-06-27T09:38:00.001-07:00

PANTS - DROPPED

2007-06-25T09:15:00.000-07:00

The trial proved nearly as dramatic -- and unusual -- as the plaintiff's claims. On the witness stand, Pearson broke down in tears and had to take a break from his testimony because he became too emotional while questioning himself about his experience with the missing trousers.

He became visibly emotional when he reached the point in the story in which he recounted a confrontation with Soo Chung from the dry cleaning store.

"These are not my pants," he testified, and said he told her, "I have in my adult life, with one exception, never worn pants with cuffs."

Pearson testified that Chung insisted, saying, "These are your pants."

Pearson then rushed from the courtroom, overcome with emotion.

Best Safari EVAR

2007-06-22T11:18:00.000-07:00

via...

!!!

2007-06-21T19:32:00.000-07:00

DUNH DUNH DUNH!!

Kitty Judo

2007-06-15T13:19:00.000-07:00

i could watch forever

2007-06-12T21:07:00.000-07:00

Hip Hop!

2007-06-01T10:10:00.000-07:00

ZOMG the message spreads!

2007-06-01T10:01:00.001-07:00

WHEEEEE!!!

2007-05-30T17:10:00.000-07:00

Google Maps: THE GAME

I have a code... :(

2007-05-17T10:16:00.001-07:00

GAAHHH!

2007-05-16T13:46:00.001-07:00

speaking of rapture...

2007-05-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

DOWN AT THE RAPTURE WITH GEORGE

2007-05-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

Ruff!

2007-05-14T11:26:00.000-07:00

sorry, this is a commercial, but it features Michigan's greatest thespian: Ahoy

Encyclopedia of Life

2007-05-09T13:00:00.000-07:00

Encyclopedia of Life

1. What does Encyclopedia of Life seek to accomplish? What are its objectives?

Ultimately, the Encyclopedia will serve as an online reference source and database for every one of the 1.8 million species that are named and known on this planet, as well as all those later discovered and described. Encyclopedia of Life will be used as both a teaching and a learning tool, helping scientists, educators, students, and the community at large gain a better understanding of this planet and all who inhabit it.

Miss Van Miscellany

2007-05-08T14:44:00.000-07:00

Socially Responsible Design

2007-05-03T10:10:00.000-07:00

Transporting water is a time-consuming and cumbersome necessity for many millions of people. Rather than lifting and carrying water, containers, the Q-Drum was designed by P.J. and P.S. Hendrikse as a cylindrical container that rolls along the ground with as much as 75 liters of water. It is used in a number of African countries including Angola, Ethiopia, Ghana. Kenya, Namibia, South Africa and Tanzania.

More here...

YOUR LACK OF FAITH DISTURBS ME

2007-04-30T11:04:00.000-07:00

Giant Steps

2007-04-27T18:10:00.000-07:00

(Not the Michal Levy Flash one...)

Draw Me

2007-04-25T17:06:00.001-07:00